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Deer Hunter’s Geek Test

Steve Sorensen

Are you a “geek”?

You’re reading this, so there’s a good chance you are. Geeks come in all kinds, so no, I’m not saying it because you run a computer.

“Geek” is a slang term. One definition describes it as a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially a person who is overly obsessed with computers, etc. That three letter abbreviation “etc.,” means we have way more geeks than just computer geeks. Do I need to tell you that some people are deer hunting geeks? Maybe there’s no better word to describe guys and gals who are peculiar, odd, and obsessed about whitetails.

I’ve devised a little test to help you determine if you’re a deer hunting geek.

You might be a deer hunting geek if…

  1. You have copies of deer hunting magazines on your bedside table, your coffee table, your kitchen table, your desk, your workbench, your floor, your TV, under your couch, in your bathroom and your truck—and none of them ever gather dust.
  1. Even your casual clothes are camo, like this guy’s…

  1. Your idea (but maybe not your better half’s idea) of dinner and a movie is venison burgers and a deer hunting video. In fact, you have a couple dozen you know she can’t wait to see.
  1. You wonder why Chanel No. 5 is so expensive (it’s a perfume, not a TV channel), but never question the price of a bottle of doe estrus urine.
  1. You’re driving down the road on an October evening, gaze out the passenger side window and whisper, “What a beauty!” And the pretty lady sitting next to you knows you’re not looking at or talking about her.
  1. You never ask before you show people a picture of your most recent buck—you show them even if they don’t care. And only AFTER that, you might ask “Wanna see pictures of my kids?” Then you pull out a family photo with a date and time stamp across the bottom, along with the logo of your trail camera.

MackFamJohn Mack’s wife and kids.  Hat tip to my good friend for the photo, Owner of HuntingPA.com

  1. You have more hunting boots than all your other footwear combined.
  1. When you have a party you wear camouflage, and you give each of your guests a unique swizzle stick to stir their ice tea—and it’s an antler shed by a spike buck.

Deer antler swizzle stickWhat better way to stir your drink than a shed from a spike buck?  

  1. You keep your most important documents in a safe deposit box at your bank. At the top of the list is not your will, or your insurance policies, or your passport . . . the most important documents are the trail camera pictures of the biggest bucks in your area this year.
  1. Venison—it’s what’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Between meals, you snack on jerky. And if you find a deer hair on your meat, that’s a good thing—you just floss your teeth with it.

*** Score yourself ***

9-10     Don’t try to hide it—you’re a certifiable deer geek.

7-8       People think you’re a deer geek, and with a little more effort you’ll be certifiable.

5-6       People know you’re a deer hunter, but you’re not a geek—not yet.

3-4       Come on, get serious! You’re just playing at deer hunting!

1-2       You’re probably a geek about something, but it’s not deer hunting.


Legendary Whitetails | Buck Camp Flannels

About The Author
Steve Sorenson

Steve Sorensen

Steve Sorensen came into the world of outdoor writing late, but was quickly recognized when his newspaper column The Everyday Hunter® was named “Best Newspaper Column” three times by the Pennsylvania Outdoor Writers Association. Topping off a long list of awards, the national “Pinnacle Award” for outdoor writing went to him in 2015.

He has published features in major magazines, including Outdoor Life, Sports Afield, Deer and Deer Hunting, North American Whitetail, Pennsylvania Game News, and many more. He is the content editor for the Havalon Knives blog, and speaks frequently at sportsman’s dinner ministries and other outdoorsman type events.

www.EverydayHunter.com

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